starting fresh

Ashley Ballard

Hey, you. I want to start this off by thanking you for checking out my new site. I know you have an awful lot of things to do and a lot of responsibilities, so I appreciate you taking the time to take a respite from all that and read this. You’re doing great.

The past five years of blogging have been such a gift. I’ve dumped a lot of my feelings on the internet, both on my previous website and on my Instagram, and I’ve been honored to help thousands of people out there who are going through the same hurdles in life that I am. But, there was one issue. Being able to write for my website was like pulling teeth. I rarely made the time to write a full-length post because it became grueling to open up Wordpress, see a bunch of banners and overwhelming information that I just didn’t need, and, worst of all, it was nearly impossible to format on any device besides a computer (I primarily like to work on my iPad Pro lately).

On top of that, I found myself struggling to make the time because I was overextending myself at many jobs over the past handful of years, and then one day it hit me that I needed to take this into my own hands.

When i realized it was time to do the shit i said i would do already

Some of you may know this from my Instagram stories, but I have spent a lot of time working out of The Wing, a coworking space tailored for marginalized genders. One of my favorite parts of the community in this space is that people will socialize and ask what you do. When people asked me I would always tense up; in the fucking millisecond I had to pause before answering this question, I would think so myself, am I a marketing professional? Am I a blogger? Should I use the dreaded “i” word… influencer? Usually I would cop out on myself and say something dumb that made it obvious that I was having a major fucking identity crisis.

So there comes a day in April when I’m digitally running around with my head cut off balancing work priorities for two jobs and a woman next to me asks me what I do. I tell her I blog on the side and she asks to see my website. My stomach sinks because I know I haven’t posted in a while (I was in a huge depressive episode and was just doing enough to get by every day). I casually tell her the site and this nosy lady pulls it up while I’m sitting there. “Wow, you haven’t posted since the holidays?”

Internally I was fuming, but I knew she was right. These days the Internet moves faster than lesbian relationships or Taylor Swift in the recording studio after a breakup, but here I am posting with my cavalier once-every-six-months cadence and bitching that nothing is happening for me. Why was I feeling pangs of jealousy and anxiety instead of my usual support and joy when I saw blogger friends making fresh content?

Spoiler alert: I was insecure.

Here’s the shit i said i would do that i’m Gonna do now

I’m telling you this to hold myself accountable. I keep a giant note in my phone full of ideas for every blog post I’ve wanted to write. Some have been requests from y’all, others have been ideas that popped in my head relating to outfits, mental health, beauty and wellness how-tos, and don’t even get me started on how many times I told myself I would do a home tour or skincare routine post.

Shit’s gonna happen now, I promise.

From now on you can expect this site to be a collection of fun and helpful content, as well as journaling posts once in a while.

As for my previous content that I’ve lazily slapped online for the past five years, it lives in an archive now. I didn’t want to leave it public because I feel like I’ve evolved from that content and we all deserve a fresh new start. That being said, if there was a previous post that you were hoping to read or re-read, send me an email and I’ll give you a super special link for your reading pleasure.

As I’ve said many times before on my social, thank you SO much for your patience with my bullshit. It’s refreshing to be able to prioritize this in my life (finally) and bring you snippets of my everyday. Besides here, can find me stumbling around on Instagram or Pinterest.

Until next time.

Ashley Ballard